Thursday, February 26, 2015

Ghosts

     Something that has been on my mind recently, ghosts. I'm not talking about mysterious apparitions or the kind of ghost that someone on a reality show is claiming touched them as they try to sell a television show. I mean the ghosts that we leave throughout our lives. The impressions that we leave and that remain in certain places that takes us back to that very moment in time every time we see it. This is one of those places for me.

Taken that very April night in 2012 from the spot I was sitting.
     It was an April evening in 2012. I had started dating a woman in March of that year whom I had dated years back. Things went fast, things just felt right for me. One evening before we officially started to date again we were talking over a bottle of wine. I made a comment that we should just pick a future date and place, if neither of us were with anyone else by then we should just meet there and get married. At the time I was serious and thought that it sounded romantic. Looking back I now see that perhaps it was the wine talking. Which brings me to here, this place on that April evening in 2012. We were out on a date for dinner then walked over to a bar that overlooks the Ohio River from Kentucky. I was driving and sober but my date was not. She left to use the restroom and I was sitting outside on the patio looking across the river to Cincinnati and sent her a text. It simply contained a specific date in 2014, nothing more. The date in regards to my aforementioned idea of us getting married. She did not see the text till the next day. Every time I see this place or stand in the very spot I think about that night. It is very bittersweet now, a lot has happened since then.

     We ended up getting married in 2013 but by 2014 things went bad. In October of 2013, three months after getting married, I discovered that my wife had been sending "I love and miss you" emails back and forth with her ex boyfriend. A month later I discovered they had been sleeping together the entire time that we were engaged, supposedly not after we got married but that doesn't matter anymore. I discovered a lot of things and the fact that the person whom I loved more than anyone and trusted blindly was not who I thought she was. Some of those "ghosts" of happy memories in certain places then turned to upsetting memories. There is a ghost of a moment on a specific bridge where we committed ourselves to one another. There is the bed and breakfast that we were staying in the weekend that we became engaged. Then the beach that I was standing on when I said "I do" not realizing that my marriage was based on a lie. They are all ghosts that I wish I could get rid of. Maybe one day I will create new memories of those places, leave new ghosts and the old ones simply vaporize. Maybe I will revisit those places. Perhaps sit on the beach by myself with a blanket and bottle of wine as I watch the sunset. It would be a bit poetic and symbolic for the sun to set on that ghost which I no longer wish to remember. Only looking back to remember a beautiful Summer night on the beach by myself with a bottle of wine as the sun sets on the Gulf of Mexico.

     We all leave those ghosts, those certain memories of our lives tied to certain places. Just as memories can be triggered by a song or certain smell, they can also be triggered by specific places. I often find myself driving and noticing a certain place where something significant in my life happened. The football field that I once played on as a kid, the restaurant that my family liked to occasionally visit growing up, the baseball fields that my son played on... there are many wonderful ghosts. Though my life is not where I currently want it to be I will continue leaving positive energy, leaving my ghosts behind. Perhaps even ones that others will see and live on long after I'm gone.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Drunk History

     I stumbled on what may be my second favorite television show. I say second favorite due to the fact that Better Call Saul is now my favorite. So, as I was relaxing after a long day of work and flipping channels before the new episode of Better Call Saul aired I stumbled onto a show called Drunk History. It was on the Comedy Channel. Deciding to check it out I not only learned a few things but also laughed. If only my history teacher in high school would have been allowed to teach drunk, I may have done much better in class! The basic premise of the show is that the narrator is drunk. As they tell the story, it is being acted out. However the actors are lip syncing what the narrator is saying which makes it very entertaining. I will have to catch up on all of the episodes online. I saw Dolly Madison and Edith Wilson which were both very good. Casey Wilson played Dolly Madison and Courtney Cox played Edith Wilson. The show is definitely very entertaining while also being educational. 






Saturday, February 14, 2015

Kirsten Dunst

     Time for a random blog post, which is actually what this blog was meant to be. I started this blog as a way to simply get out what was going through my mind at the time. There is no rhyme or reason to this blog or what the posts are about. I've been through a lot in my life and trying to build a better life for myself. I was married, still technically married, but found out that my wife had been sleeping with her ex boyfriend the entire time that we were engaged. After we were married I discovered that they were both sending "I love and miss you messages back and forth". Needless to say that killed the marriage. Anyway, I am getting sidetracked. The original name of this blog, which is the name of my email, was to be "Drunken Ramblings Of A Sober Mind". I decided to name the blog "Better Than Chicken" for no other reason that I personally thought it had a nice ring to it. Well, I will admit, the intention for this blog was random, yet sober, ramblings. This is not one of those times. It is not technically still Valentine's Day but I have been drinking since then so this post is not a sober one. If for some reason this does not come out right, my apologies...

     I am in love with Kirsten Dunst. I can say that proudly as I am currently not sober having enjoyed a bottle of bourbon. Now, that does not mean that I am some crazed fan that thinks she will be my next ex wife. Unless of course she wants to be! In all seriousness, for whatever reason I love the movie Elizabethtown. I watched it for the simple reason that it was based in Elizabethtown, Kentucky. I had no expectations of the film. However I was very pleasantly surprised. I ended up loving the movie. I loved how the characters played by Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst met. I loved that it was not a mushy and intense romance. It was about two people who met serendipitously due to the unfortunate event of Orlando Bloom's character, Drew's, father's passing. I loved the way that they became friends by chance and how that friendship developed. There is also something about Kirsten Dunst that resonates with me. Her facial structure, the way she talks and just her presence. While I have met a few celebrities, I have never met her in person. I have no clue what she is actually like in real life. However, in this film, there is just something about her that draws me to her. Granted I am in love with the character that she plays, there is a part of me that wishes I could just sit down and have a conversation with her to learn more about who she is as a person. However I feel quite confident that will never happen. Then again, if she is reading this right now, my email is Drunkenramblingsofasobermind@gmail.com . In all seriousness, for whatever reason I loved the film Elizabethtown. Just something about the story line between Orlando Bloom's and Kirsten Dunst's characters. I love how their relationship developed. I loved how it culminated at the end when Orlando Bloom's character, Drew, went on a road trip that was planned out by Kirsten Dunst's character, Claire. One day I myself just want to take a solo road trip. To get away and clear my mind. To finally figure life out. While Kirsten Dunst won't be "the girl in the red hat" waiting for me along the way, perhaps I will at least learn something along the way. So, for the two people who actually read this blog, my apologies. This is my first non sober blog post. For anyone who stumbles upon this, stick around. Sometimes I actually have something somewhat intelligible to say.

     

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

50 Shades

     Well, it's almost here, the long awaited movie '50 Shades Of Grey'. I have not read the book, nor will I, just as I will not be seeing the movie. That is my personal choice. I am sure there are many people who do like the book and will see the movie. I am not a fan of 50 Shades Of Grey so I can only speak from what I know about it based on what I've heard from friends as well as what little I have read online. My issue is not with the BDSM aspect of it, I see nothing wrong with that at all. I have friends who are actively involved in the BDSM lifestyle. My main issue is with the fact that, in my humble opinion, the true turn on from the movie stems from the fact that the main character is extremely wealthy. My question is, if the main character, Christian Grey, was just an average guy would the book have sold 100 million copies? If he was simply a plumber, teacher, police officer, handyman, factory worker or any other blue collar profession with a bondage room would he still be "dreamy" or would he be labeled a pervert? BDSM was once considered taboo but now thanks to 50 Shades it has become almost main stream. Suddenly soccer moms are reading it, women at the swim club, it seems like almost every woman I have spoken with has read the book or wanting to see the movie. If the book or movie helps introduce someone to possibly trying or experimenting with something new to "spice up" their love life, I think that is great. However is it the BDSM that has everyone intrigued or is it the fact that because the main character is extremely wealthy that it's "okay" that he happens to also be into BDSM? I'm curious to know your opinion. Answer my question in the comment section, if he were an average guy with a bondage room would it still have the same appeal?




Saturday, January 3, 2015

Failure

     Now that the new year is here I have been busy cleaning out 2014 files, setting up 2015 files, deleting all of the junk emails that I've been procrastinating doing and setting my goals for the year. As I do this I realize that this year is going to be a pivotal year for me, it has to be. I am nowhere near where I want, or need, to be in life. I'm 42, separated (that story to come in a future post) and not where I need to be professionally. Which has made me do a lot of thinking. I had watched a show on Yahoo called Failure Club, produced by Morgan Spurlock. Most may remember him from the movie Supersize Me. Failure Club followed and documented the story of seven people who chased their goals for a year. Each having their own specific goal that they had always dreamed of achieving but never had. As far as I know, it only aired for one season. Which I find sad as it is not only a great concept for a reality show, especially compared to the Reality Shows that they air on television, but inspirational to others to chase their dreams. This year is going to finally be my "Failure Club" year. I will admit, I have coasted through life. I have always had lots of dreams, goals, and ideas but have found myself failing not from trying, but from "not" trying. Part of the reason for me starting this blog is the fact that I have always wanted to do this but never have. Perhaps by sitting here at my desk writing out random thoughts will help motivate me to reach my goals. If I fail, then at least I can fail knowing that I tried rather than by doing nothing. Regardless, I have to do something. The past is the past for a reason. As of January 1st, 2015 life starts over for me. Time to push the reset button. Life starts now an I'm going to make the best of it.