|Taken that very April night in 2012 from the spot I was sitting.|
We ended up getting married in 2013 but by 2014 things went bad. In October of 2013, three months after getting married, I discovered that my wife had been sending "I love and miss you" emails back and forth with her ex boyfriend. A month later I discovered they had been sleeping together the entire time that we were engaged, supposedly not after we got married but that doesn't matter anymore. I discovered a lot of things and the fact that the person whom I loved more than anyone and trusted blindly was not who I thought she was. Some of those "ghosts" of happy memories in certain places then turned to upsetting memories. There is a ghost of a moment on a specific bridge where we committed ourselves to one another. There is the bed and breakfast that we were staying in the weekend that we became engaged. Then the beach that I was standing on when I said "I do" not realizing that my marriage was based on a lie. They are all ghosts that I wish I could get rid of. Maybe one day I will create new memories of those places, leave new ghosts and the old ones simply vaporize. Maybe I will revisit those places. Perhaps sit on the beach by myself with a blanket and bottle of wine as I watch the sunset. It would be a bit poetic and symbolic for the sun to set on that ghost which I no longer wish to remember. Only looking back to remember a beautiful Summer night on the beach by myself with a bottle of wine as the sun sets on the Gulf of Mexico.
We all leave those ghosts, those certain memories of our lives tied to certain places. Just as memories can be triggered by a song or certain smell, they can also be triggered by specific places. I often find myself driving and noticing a certain place where something significant in my life happened. The football field that I once played on as a kid, the restaurant that my family liked to occasionally visit growing up, the baseball fields that my son played on... there are many wonderful ghosts. Though my life is not where I currently want it to be I will continue leaving positive energy, leaving my ghosts behind. Perhaps even ones that others will see and live on long after I'm gone.